We Come Together Cuz Opposites Attract

Jason isn't a cartoon,
just so you know.

Since 1990, Paula Abdul has been saying that opposites attract, but that’s never really been the case for me. Well, until now.

Jason, the tattooed 27-year-old who works at a restaurant and loves heavy metal, has reeled me in, the 33-year-old Corporate America employee with a Master's degree who has seen five Kelly Clarkson concerts. We have pretty literally nothing in common except for extreme honesty, and so far, that seems to be enough. He is unlike anyone I hang out with now or have dated in the past, but it’s fun and feels right, so I’m determined to not overthink things.

When we went out last week, he said that he wanted to take me into Manhattan. I insisted that it wasn’t necessary – in part it just seemed really early for that kind of a date, and frankly, I know he doesn’t make much money and I sure don’t have spare cash lying around as we get ready to pay closing costs, movers, and so on. But, he got bar and restaurant suggestions from the owner of the restaurant where he works, and Jason was just so excited to put together this night for me that I couldn’t say no. I am so glad I didn’t!

It was a beautiful summer night in Manhattan (not the usually disgusting humidity of August). The evening was full of surprises:

1.  Jason’s apartment was nice. I went to his apartment to pick him up and I admit that I was kind of expecting him to have a messy, bland, boy apartment. Not only was his place pretty neat and clean, but it had character, from artwork on the walls to framed photos of his grandparents on his bookshelf.
   
2. I was able to hold hands and not freak out. It’s interesting that, contrary to what I would’ve expected, I haven’t had much trouble with kissing and fooling around with guys since my marriage ended. However, hand holding, snuggling, and sleeping together have all made me freak out at some point. Max and I weren’t sexual for years, but we did still snuggle, so those gestures with other guys made me flash back to Max. As Jason and I strolled through Midtown Manhattan, Jason didn’t think anything of it to grab my hand or put his arm around me. Shockingly, I didn’t swat him away or wriggle out from his grip. In fact, I actually liked it. (Just last week, when David held my hand, I wanted to RUN AWAY. [Yesterday I told David that I enjoyed getting to know him, but thanks but no thanks blah blah.])
   
3. I told Jason why I got divorced. I didn’t think I’d be willing to go there considering that I’ve only known Jason for two weeks. It’s not like I can just say, “the asshole cheated on me.” It’s a rather unusual story for a 33-year-old, not to mention baffling to the more typical man. But I also felt Jason needed to know so he could understand why I am sad that my days living with Max are numbered – and so Jason wouldn’t have to worry about anything getting revived with Max. When we were at an incredible outdoor bar on the East River, I spilled my guts. As he sipped a margarita Jason was very gracious about listening the story. When I was done, he told me that he was really sorry for what I’ve gone through and that he gets turned on just kissing me so I would never have to worry about history repeating itself! Well played, sir.
   
4. He danced with me. We were sitting outside on the water, chatting about whatever. I was midsentence, and he just grabbed my hand and started slow dancing with me. I wish I could remember the song. (By the way, Max NEVER danced. I called him Brandon Walsh because of it. Yes, that's yet another Beverly Hills 90210 reference.)
   
5. We went back to his place. After our romantic, picturesque evening in NYC, there was one more mandatory stop: his apartment. And, yup, we had sex. That makes the sex count twice in two months! You guys, that is like TONS of sex to me. (I think I had sex with Max twice the entire time I was married.) I wasn’t expecting sex, but hell if I could resist. Furthermore, I slept over, Jason held me all night, and I didn’t freak out! No waking up wishing I could sneak out without him knowing.

The view from dinner. God, I love New York City.

What a fun, affectionate, sexy evening I had, and with someone that I had tweeted #IShouldCancelThisDate before we met! In the wise words of Paula Abdul, "Things in common / Just ain't a one / But when we get together / We have nothin' but fun."

SIDE STORY: When was comfortably lying in Jason’s arms, I knew I had to cancel my drink plans with Tim (the guy who took me to dinner last week) for Saturday night. It wasn’t sitting right with me to have a romantic date night followed by some hot sex with Jason, and then go on a date with someone else 24 hours later. But how cool is this... I called up Tim and told him the truth – that I’d been talking to another guy and in the last day or so things had taken a turn so I didn’t feel it was right to go out with him and mislead him plus I didn’t want to be shady with the other guy. However, I thought he was a great guy and I happen to have a wonderful single girlfriend (Jen) and could I give him her number? He said yes. They did some texting tonight and they’re having a beer tomorrow!

Anyway, then I spent today packing with Max. As we divided up serving platter and cookbooks, I might’ve cried a few times. Not crazy tears, just “I can’t believe we have to do this shit” tears. It’s finally coming to an end.

After your divorce, did you date people who weren’t your “type”? How did that work out for you?

See also: Time Isn't the Only Factor When Considering Dating a Recently Divorced Person.